I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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