My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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