MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
