So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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