So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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