No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
