I cockslap morals
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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