he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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