protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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