I'm so fucking centered right now
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
