Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize