Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
