Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize