I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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