You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
