I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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