Where is the hickey?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
