U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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