It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
