I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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