It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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