I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
