dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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