He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
