before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
