erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
P.S. I can't hear my feet
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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