If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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