her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Everything about him screamed your future.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
