dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize