my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
