I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
