dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This is the high leading the old right now
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
