They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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