Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
