she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize