alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
