can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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