just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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