I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
