There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i jhust puked up my retainher.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
