is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
