we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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