If i come over, it means nothing
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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