I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
