Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
