I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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