hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize