I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
