I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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