____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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