come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
