On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
