franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
