I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
