Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
