Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize