Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
