Midget sex pt 2 tonight
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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