I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize