Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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