know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
