yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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