i don't like sucking hair
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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