She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
