I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
