First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
