Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Let's get the cat blown out
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
