If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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