I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
