She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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