i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
