I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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