I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
