gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
