The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
