I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize