I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
