im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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