Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
