That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
