Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
