The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
