Will you blow on my dice?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Sober January is a disaster.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
