where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
