don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Randomize
