is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
