when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
